QUESTION : I just want to stop feeling angry and constantly frustrated. I was like this as a child, it seem to subside in my 20\'s but has strongly resurfaced again (now in my 30\'s). I think It has projected into relationships (both personal & professional) and I really want it to stop! How is that remotely possible when you feel so wronged, hurt, confused (etc.) and alone
Susan
ANSWER:
Dear Susan,
The kind of anger you're talking about is almost always based on a primal sense of feeling threatened. When you get angry/frustrated ask yourself what it is that is threatening you or making you feel unsafe. Getting the question right is essential to problem solving. Once you see what is threatening you in the now -- making you feel unsafe -- you can then ask yourself when (in this life time) did you first have that feeling. It's genesis is in your past. The idea of understanding where that lack of safety originated is not so that you have to relive your childhood, but that you recognize how you as a child took on challenging and negative ideas about yourself as a result of the situations in which you found yourself. Now, you are in a position to change your mind, to understand that your experiences do not identify you. They are places, perhaps hurtful ones, through which you have traveled, but they are not who you are. This is accomplished through, intention, practice, and the willingness to let go of the story. Even though you may very well have been "done wrong," what is more important is what you choose to do about it. When the old chemicals start racing through your body evoking rage and frustration, slow yourself down. Pause. Breathe. And then breathe again. It is not about fair or unfair, but it is essential to pull the plug on the voices in your head and stop the constant replay that happens at some point in time to all of us. It is not your fault, but now it is your choice. Choose the illogical -- choose that no matter what has transpired, you are not a victim. It is the beginning of empowerment and healing. It takes two for war and one for peace. You are filled with amazing potential. It is just a matter of learning how to direct the power of your will so it always works for you.
I will be talking extensively on these subjects and offering practical tools at the San Diego Center for Spiritual Awareness on 10th and G Street in downtown San Diego at 10:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. on Sunday, March 15. Please check my website for details. If you live near the San Diego area, I hope you can come.
I wish you peace and the dawning of a new day. I know that it is not easy to break out of a seeming deluge of past emotions that lead to hurt feelings. But I also know how doable it is and how very worthy you are of your own effort.
My best to you always.
Love,
Sandy
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