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30 May 2008

An Ask Sandy Question

Question:
So tell me, what do you suggest individuals who work in a "daily" hostile environment do. It is very hard to stay positive with dealing with mean arrogant people all day long. I think many individuals who read your blog can relate.
I suffered injuries to my cervical and lumbar spine on the job. Since then it has been HELL to deal with both management, my chronic pain, and co-workers who just do not relate ..... not until they too are injured."
Dear Questioner:
First of all, please accept my support for the courage and tenacity it takes to keep moving forward in difficult times.  The challenge/opportunity of being in a "daily hostile environment," is to begin by not looking for support from people and places that have demonstrated that they don't have much if any to give.  It's like consistently going to the hardware store for oranges - you're just not going to find them there.  So every time you look to your co-workers to understand what you are going through, you are actually setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.  That's where the "dance" has to shift.  You hold the power for this shift, because it will be you creating a new way of thinking that will create a new reality for you.  What you experience as their insensitivity and perhaps even cruelty, will no longer reflect who and how you are.  And I know that it's not fair, but I also know that what you are doing isn't working and is causing you more pain.  It's hard to let go of the "fair and unfair" perspective - it was hard for me to learn that - but you already have courage, and I would rather see you focus on what will work instead of what doesn't work even when it's unfair.
Don't resist that something is unfair - put it on the proverbial table - and then know that you get to choose what you want to do about it.  Make the courageous and self-loving choice to let it go.  It's okay that the hardware store isn't selling oranges this week.  There's a good chance they won't sell them next week, either.  Then look to other options for support.  Is there a pain support group in your area or on the Internet?  If finances are a challenge, do any of your local hospitals offer free pain-management classes?  It's not necessarily that you will find new answers, but you may find more compassionate companions.  Honor yourself and your journey.  Give yourself the caring support and respect you deserve.  Don't give up.  Keep checking the latest in physical therapies and alternative possibilities.  Stay abreast of integrative medicine and what they're doing re:  pain management. 
And, oh, by the way, did I mention honor yourself?  Please do so.  Yours is clearly not an easy road at this time.  Honor yourself - it's the opening to self-love.  Give this to you, keep checking for support groups, trust that the core of who you are (the Spirit of all that you are) has not abandoned you.  Surround yourself as much as possible with positive thoughts, positive books and words (even on a bad day!) and positive people.  Before you know it, you will be surrounded with baskets of oranges!
Know that you have my respect and support for healing in your body and the peace and joy you certainly deserve.
Blessings and love,
Sandy Brewer
Author Pursuit of Light, An Extraordinary Journey

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